With a big smile, Gail wished me “congratulations.” She was referring to a very temporary role I was taking on for our organization. Unfortunately, it was not a situation I desired nor wanted to spend extra time upon. She saw my face screw up a bit and immediately switched to proclaiming “congratuladolences.”

Yes, that says it all. A commingled phrase of contradictory thoughts. Most of us have been there, in a similar situation. It’s almost a common feature of our calendars. We do countless things that we assume are for the ‘good of the order’ even if they aren’t family requirements or at the top of our personal wish-list.

My friend Alice devotes a great deal of time and effort serving her church. It leads to semi-prestigious titles and responsibilities; none of it sought. A common part of accepting such work is that there appears to be “no one else to do it.” Or at least few who are willing to lift their eyes up, in fear of consideration, when the request is made.

Such times and titles can be bittersweet. We know others (usually) appreciate that we have stepped up and everyone assumes we’ll try to do our best. Frequently, this is the kind of work that takes place behind the scenes and with little to no recognition. Additionally, it can highlight the concept of “ask a busy person if you want something done.” Even when I am swamped, I generally do what is expected of me.

Consider Your Use of Time

This led me to thinking about how we spend our time, especially as we age. Another friend recently told me she just wants to travel more and doesn’t want to be bogged down. And my friend Bonnie always makes time in her busy schedule for concerts, movies, classes, outdoor exercise and socializing, not to mention travel. I’m constantly impressed. Perhaps a bit envious as well.

A friend now gone, Shelley, used to lovingly lecture me that I had choices, I wasn’t obligated in life. And there’s the rub. I often do feel obligated. Still, when I question myself about whether what I am doing is worthwhile, I come to a contradictory conclusion.

Activities I have committed to don’t feel like frittering time away and can have good outcomes. After all, having purpose is another aspect of fulfillment. Yet perhaps my commitments are not always worthwhile in my own life or to my own happiness. Even the front cover of a recent AARP magazine touted the warning “Do Less, Live More.”

I’m not ready to play hooky forever, or resort to just pleasing myself with entertaining, spiritual or fun elements to envelop my time. But I believe there’s a question that I need to ask myself more regularly.

At the end of each week, how often do I feel like congratulations are in order and how often is it condolences? Further, if it’s a balance – or ‘congratuladolences,’ perhaps that’s not quite good enough.

Did my time generate an adequate dose of contented enjoyment and satisfaction? The answers that I admit to myself might not always be what I want to hear. You may feel the same. However, the important part is that at least we question our motives and wishes and strike as much of a healthy balance as we can.

I plan on asking myself how much time did I ENJOY? Maybe you will too. We all know that contentment is a powerful key to Aging_with_Pizzazz.

Wishing you more time for congratulations.